Oh, Miss, Miss

I finally went to the bank and cashed a $25 check I've had laying around. Normally I don't carry much cash. I mean, when you have a Starbucks card you really don't need cash, right? So, I came out of the bank, clutching my purse to my chest, terrified a terrorist would take it. The empty plastic bin I refill with cat litter at Petco occupied my passenger seat and I stuck my key into the lock to get it out.

Two young boys, probably twelve years old, wearing tee shirts and shorts, charged out of the bank and leaped over a three and a half foot fence, landing with a thud nearly at my feet. My fingers tightened around my purse. One of them had those tennis shoes with the springs in the heels and the other had on shoes that appeared to be hand-me-downs from Sasquatch. They took off running between the cars and disappeared behind a van.

Naturally I assumed they'd just robbed the bank. Someone probably idled in the van, eager to peel rubber through the lot to affect a clean get-away.

I opened my car door and hauled out the plastic cat litter bin, ready to use it as a weapon. As the car door slammed shut, a woman came up the sidewalk beside the fence and called out, "Miss, oh miss!"

My eyes shot to hers, afraid she'd say the boys had stolen HER purse and even more afraid she would expect me to chase them down.

"Did you forget your children?" she called.

My jaw dropped. "Children?"

"Yes, those two boys that just ran off. Did you forget them?"

I stared at her. "Um...they're not mine."

She sighed and pointed her keys at a minivan two spaces over. "Well, it was worth a try." The "beep beep" of the locks releasing signaled the boys, who tossed open the doors and flung themselves in just as she arrived at the driver's door.

Nice try. Very nice. But no banana. And that may be the last time I try to walk through a parking lot with twenty-five big ones flaming signals to bad guys.